I am not even sure where to start... it might be a helpful if you know what I do.
Many of you know I work with addicts. Many of you have seen my post about #drugcourtworks; #ilovemyjob or #savinglives things like that on twitter or fb. Well, today I hated my job. (Even as it comes out it taste bitter). Today I attended my first wake for a client.
I don't speak of this to bring awareness to addiction or to have people feel sorry for me, I write to express myself and clear my head by getting my thoughts out.
I am believer/follower of Christ. (I know my mouth and silly antics don't always show that) I also believe that God will be glorifed in this tragedy, but it has still been a shock to my system.
When talking about my job it's always "ya, I work with people struggling with an addiction" or "I help people learn to live a sober a life" something like that. But today a client whom I've known for 15 months was laid to rest and I am left wondering, what the hell happened? There is comfort knowing that God has taken her out of her pain and suffering and made her whole again. God has justified her and people turn to him or learn of His greatness through this.
When taking this job, fresh out of Grad School, there a burning fire to serve God's people, to minister to the broken and hurting. The flame still burns and the love for my clients is still there, but I have come to realize that this job comes with cost. That cost is my broken heart.
Coming from a Social Worker Masters program I have set up boundaries, there is a clear line where work stays at the office. But when investing in another human begin do we not risk it all? God created US ALL in HIS IMAGIE, that is how I view all my clients. There fore I do my best in treating them all like children of God. My goal is to make all my clients feel God's unconditional love. It is not always nice and neat because sometimes my clients have to go to jail. But in processing the issue or relapse with them, I try to imagine the way the Jesus would treat them.
As I process all this, I start to wonder, was I naive in thinking this could happen, or was it known but I willing choose not to acknowledge it???
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